


in which an intel run goes completely fine

by orphan_account



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Collaboration, Feel-good, Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life, collab fic that me and my friend sloppily wrote on one doc, honestly, that's just how all fics start thoug, this was SUPPOSED to be a joke to pass quarantine time but here we are, you can still see some of the moments where the jokiness of this came in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23765929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Collab sloppily written between me and a friend, excuse if there's any weird spacing I didn't catch when editing this, if anything that's your queue to know when a new writer came in haha.Co-creator is disabled so here's their user: RobotwithashotgunNot beta read, unless you count me scanning through this thing a good few times.Crackfic for Cliffjumper/Thundercracker"Well, here's where today's journey might come to an end.""What do you mean might?""Well, since you came into my base and got some intel, how ‘bout I do the same with yours?""Yeah, uh, all offense, you're really big. You ain’t really cut out for stealth.""And neither are you, loudmouth. Now, do you wanna give me a kiss?"
Relationships: Cliffjumper/Thundercracker (Transformers), implied Skyfire/Starscream
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	in which an intel run goes completely fine

"Cliff, you can't stay angry forever..."

"I can. And I will."

"Cliff, who cares?"

"Me!"

Thundercracker wiped a servo down his face. "Ugh, you are _impossible_..."

Being cornered by a seeker with an empty gun is one thing, _blushing_ in said situations another, and Cliffjumper was said bot.

Starscream peered into their room, wanting to grab some extra supplies before heading out on 'patrol' and caught sight of Cliffjumper. Frowning, he made his entrance. “Hey, what the _fuck_ does this mean?” He pointed at the angry mini, crossing his arms. “Fess up. Don’t make me call Skywarp in here too.” 

Thundercracker cringed as he turned around. He’d caught Cliff sneaking into the base when he’d heard banging in the vents above him, and then immediately afterwards the ceiling vent crashed open and revealed Cliff. The red mini panicked and immediately pulled out a gun, but the mag flung out and beat Thundercracker in the face. Now Screamer was here, and if Skywarp came along he'd probably embarrass everyone including himself. _Bastard has no filter…_

Starscream looked at Thundercracker and shoved a finger in his face. “Why, of _ALL_ things, did you bring an Autobot in here?” Looking back at the mini, he glared, trying to look intimidating. “Might as well tell me what happened before I go trying to figure out myself, no?” 

“I mean, why not? He wasn’t armed or anything... So it would have been a waste if I didn’t bring him here. Now we just gotta figure out what to do with his ugly aft.” 

Cliffjumper looked like he wanted to strangle every seeker in the room.

"So out of everywhere you could have, you brought him here?"

"Well where else? The medbay? Hook would have strung him up like Christmas lights, plus it's not like he can hurt anyone."

"He is known as the _1-bot army_ you fool, although I think we're both missing a big point here..." Starscream looked back to the red heap sitting on the floor, who was currently just exuding steam from his vents.

"How the hell did you even get down here? We’re on the seafloor."

Cliff stared at them both. "You do realize we can adjust our vents for water use, right...? This base isn't so hard to locate, not my first trip down.” Cliff looks down to the floor. “ _Just my first trip caught.._ ” He mumbles. 

“Anyways,” He continues. “Why the frag would you care? I can't do anything like you said.” The sound of the mini's backup gun warming up was muffled under all of the fuss between him and the overdramatic seeker.

“You mean you’ve been here before? Fucker. Minibots are the worst.” Starscream was still staring at Thundercracker with a disapproving look as if he was asking _‘Why are you so fucking stupid?’_

Right in the middle of their petty staring contest, one of the doors opened and revealed Skywarp. Even he failed to notice Cliffjumper getting ready to blast them to bits.

Thundercracker faltered at the sight of his closest friend. "Listen, I may or may not... uh..."

Skywarp paid minimal attention to Cliffjumper, instead bounding over to TC with a shit eating grin. "THUNDERCRACKER, MADLAD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO PULL OFF YOUR KINK!"

Starscream looked disgusted. "Excuse me, _what_?"

The blue seeker groaned. "Skywarp, don't--"

The next few seconds were a bit of a flash. Cliffjumper fired the shotgun at Starscream, which surprisingly knocked him into Skywarp and back out of the door, then himself into TC into the wall behind him, tearing through. This new room looked odd, what was this place…?

“--Don’t call it that…” Thundercracker flopped onto the floor, resting a minute.

Starscream and Skywarp were knocked cold for a while, when a panicking Thundercracker got his energy back and practically _wiped_ the mini off him, running to hover over the two. While he could, Cliffjumper snuck around the room, grabbed what he could, and made a run for it, only to rouse a certain blue seeker back into reality. The chase has begun!

Starscream came to awareness slowly and lifted himself off of Skywarp's uncomfortable frame, rubbing at his helm. He scanned the room only to find it empty besides the body under him and the hole in the wall.

_Slag._

For a minibot, Cliffjumper was _fast._ Thundercracker was a seeker--known for grace and speed--but somehow the mini’s small legs were carrying him through the halls of the nemesis surprisingly fast. 

“GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” But Cliffjumper wasn’t stopping. With just a look back at the seeker, he ran faster.

Shaking Skywarp's limp body, Starscream growled. “Slagger, come ON! Wake up!” He clenched his jaw and lightly smacked the other seeker's cheek, finally waking him up.

"Wh- Oh, hey Star,” Skywarp smiled groggily. “Where's TC? And that little red dude?”

“No time to talk.” Starscream gripped the purple jet's arm. “I need you to teleport us to Thundercracker. _Right. Now._ ”

After some good time spent running, Thundercracker crouched, venting for air. _Lost him_... Somehow, the t-junction split and both passways had doors--both were closed. 

As if on queue, the announcement system came on. 

"This is Hook speaking,” Wow, he sounded tired. “Skywarp, you missed your scheduled urinalysis. Get your aft back here or the book of procedures says I have to kill you."

Well, at least Cliffjumper hasn't been found yet.

"Hey TC, have you seen Cliff?" Someone spoke up.

Thundercracker panicked. "Huh? No, wait-" He turned himself around, trying to still his wings.

Standing behind him was Mixmaster.

"Oh, then I guess I must be having hallucinations.” The constructicon lifted one hand in lighthearted surrender, the other going to scratch the back of his helm. “Been seeing Cliff running around here forever and I thought I just saw him in the East wing so..."

"Ah, okay then." Thundercracker smiled. “You might wanna go get that checked out bud.” He watched the constructicon leave and sat there on the floor.

Well, there's one place to start looking.

Out of nowhere, Thundercracker's trinemates popped up and crashed onto the floor on top of him.

Skywarp hesitated. “Sorry TC, still a little drowsy. You good?”

Starscream scoffed. “My paint job is scuffed now... I was supposed to sneak out later tonight and now I have to rush it later!”

Thundercracker helped them both up and patted the angry seeker on his shoulder. “You'll be fine, me and 'Warp will help you later. Let's just find Cliffjumper first...”

"Didn't Mixmaster say he was last in the east hall?” Skywarp pointed in its direction.

Star chimed in. “Eeexactly. And that's precisely where we're going.” Still upset, he grabbed both by one of their arms and began to drag them there. “Let’s go catch your stupid boyfriend so I can go see mine already.”

On their way down, Skywarp gasped. "You hooked up with Skyfire again?" He asked.

Starscream smiled, giving him the side eye. "I wont say yet."

"Hmm, nothing here,” Thundercracker picked up a piece of metal. “Wait." 

Starscream looked at the small bit. "This might be a slug, he could be here."

The east wing had 2 features. A flooded cargo bay with nothing in it except water, and another cargo bay, with a small generator in the center. Come to think of it, it’s about the size of Cliffjumper... Ah. He's hiding behind there, isn't he.

_Earlier..._

Even though Cliffjumper had admitted to sneaking into the nemesis several times, he still found himself at a loss of direction. Where _was_ he? Cliffjumper wasn’t particularly known for stealth, but now he was trying his best. There was no telling when that purple idiot might wake up and warp right to his location. That would definitely be bad, that and the trine would be even more pissed than usual now that he’d literally _shot_ them.

The hallway he was in had Mixmaster standing on the other side.

"Oh! Hey again hallucination Cliffjumper! How are you doing?" The constructicon waved at him.

"Uhhh..."

"Oh! You can hide here, there's probably something you can hide behind."

And with that he left. Cliff could hear another set of footsteps coming from behind, he shot at the noise and ducked into the next room.

Breakdown yells and hits the floor.

"Jeez, now even ghosts are out to get me! _Why does everything want to get after me_?!"

Cliff looked around at the new room, there was only one thing sitting in the middle, so his only other choice was the ceiling, so up he went, into the very spread out rafters, which for a minibot, means grabbing the one across and holding the other with your pedes if you actually want to hide about them.

_And back..._

Thundercracker slowly snuck up to the generator, peering behind it and.. Nothing. There was NOTHING.

“Well?” Starscream asked.

Thundercracker bit his lip. “You’re not gonna like this, but he isn’t here.”

"WHAT?!” Starscream let go of Skywarp's arm and stomped over to where Thundercracker crouched. “I hope you know I can’t help you all day with this nonsense.”

Skywarp leaned against the door and looked around, spotting Breakdown and Mixmaster. Maybe they could help?

Thundercracker followed his gaze, seeing the two. “‘Warp, go talk to them. See if they've seen anything around here lately.” With that, the purple seeker strolled over to the two, who were chatting somewhat casually. 

“Hey bucketheads, you seen anything… Suspicious around here? Like, red minibot suspicious.” 

Mixmaster looked baffled, and Breakdown looked downright disbelieving.

“You mean you're seeing hallucinations too? How odd!” 

Skywarp refrained from facepalming, huffing loudly. “No, dumbaft! Cliffjumper is actually on base, and we're currently trying to find him. Now have you two seen him or not?” 

Mixmaster looked back at the room he had directed Cliffjumper to before. “Yeah--told him to hide in there. Didn't think he was real...”

"Well, where else could he be? There's-"

Cliffjumper thought he could hold out until they left, but boy was he wrong, his arms gave out and he crashed on top of Skywarp with the somehow not so gentle force of a minibot.

"Nothing else here..."

Cliff jumped back and started running, right into Mixmaster's torso, knocking him down. 

Mixmaster looked back at the running mini. "Welp, I guess that solves that." He bent down to pick up 'Warp and found out that there’s a reason why he isn't responding. This bastard is built like a rock. "Yeah, uh, TC, help me out here." Mixmaster strained out.

Thundercracker turned, pulling Starscream along with him and all three helped Skywarp up, only for the blue seeker to shove him into Starscream’s arms and dash after Cliffjumper.

“Is Skywarp okay?” Mixmaster asked, worried.

Starscream rolled his eyes, lowering Skywarp down and sitting him against the wall. “Not the first time.”

"...You're gonna go after him, right?”

"No. I'm busy. Watch Skywarp for me, will you?” And with that Starscream transformed and took off.

Once again those two were on the run, a frustrated minibot and an even more frustrated seeker. This time Cliffjumper didn't make it as far, and ended up crashing into a heap as he was tackled by Thundercracker. “Got you, fragger!” Cliffjumper struggled to get away from him, letting out a “frag!” or two. 

Skywarp stayed knocked out for a while under the concerned gaze of Mixmaster, who couldn't help but ponder what this whole ordeal was about.

"Hold on you little..." TC grunted out as he wrestled with Cliffjumper.

"I am not LITTLE!" Cliff tried to kick TC's groin but missed and his leg went wide around Thundercracker's pelvis, who then took the advantage and held him in place.

Thundercracker spoke into his audial. "Yes you are! Now stop moving. You want to get out, and Starscream wants to leave without the threat of Megatron coming back to bite him in the aft, so wait, stop, and listen."

"The wait part is unneeded." Cliffjumper chimed in.

"Shut it. Now, to make sure Megs don't get as cranky as you are right now, we need to have you leave. However, you may have... Caught my eye... So, I'm coming with you. Now when I get up, I want you to lead me to the way you came in."

"So you can seal it up later?"

"No. So I can make sure it _doesn't_ get sealed up."

Cliffjumper sighs, slouches, straightens. He begins leading Thundercracker out, and they both pass by Mixmaster in the process.

Thundercracker smiles. “Let's all ignore this happened, okay?” Looking Mixmaster in the eyes, Thundercracker makes a cutting motion at his own neck, threatening him. “Or else.”

"Uh, ah, yeah. Okay TC! No harm no foul... Haha...” Mixmaster turned back to Skywarp, not quite wanting to look at the other seeker right now.

As they walked, Thundercracker commed Starscream through their trine bond, arousing the attention of Cliffjumper.

"Hey Star, we got him and it's all good. He's showing me the- Hey, cut that out you brat!” He swat at Cliffjumper, annoyed.

"As much as I appreciate knowing, I'm far from base now, it doesn't concern me.” The click of a comm ending.

Thundercracker stamped his pede. “Cock sucker. He cut me off!” He looked at Cliffjumper. “Actually, both of you cut me off!”

Cliffjumper huffed, annoyed seemingly at the mere presence of the blue seeker. He numbly led him through the halls of the nemesis, still processing what Thundercracker had said. _Caught his eye?!_ What was that supposed to mean? Thoughts ran through Cliffjumper’s mind, surprised that a Decepticon had said that, truth or not. (He made sure to spit some insults though, mostly just because Thundercracker was a ‘Con _period._ ) 

Cliffjumper stopped at a tampered vent in silence, refusing to acknowledge what he'd heard earlier. “This is it. This is how I got into your base. Happy, ‘Con?” 

The blue seeker nodded, seemingly investigating the vent with a huff. "Yes, now follow me, I hope you're not afraid of heights."

They crawled through the vent, Cliffjumper occasionally butting against TC's aft to hurry him up. "There's the damaged airlock up ahead, Only the outside door opens."

"Oh fuck, you're lucky it doesn't work."

"What?"

"This is the emergency exit for Megatron's quarters, he probably welded it shut so he remembers not to try to use it." Thundercracker jumped down and opened the safety cover for the door latch. "Shut the vent."

"I’ve been using this forever, I know the procedure." He locked the vent and shut his own.

"Alright, hang on," He grabbed onto Cliff and once the room was fully flooded Thundercracker launched them out of the room and right into the sky. Cliffjumper yelled the whole way up until Thundercracker hit the peak of his travel. 

“Get ready.”

“GET READY FOR WHAT?!” Cliffjumper felt like his spark was going to jump out of his plating, clinging to Thundercracker like his life depended on it. (Well, it kinda did.) Out of nowhere, Thundercracker jostles him around, transforms, and shoves the mini into his cockpit.

“For that. Now we focus on getting you close enough to your stupid base without your teammates catching me, unless you want to sightsee or something. I dunno. I'm free.” The jet shook, rumbling with what Cliffjumper could only assume was laughter of some sort.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!" Cliffjumper grit his teeth.

Thundercracker snorted a little bit, before shooting off towards the everlasting desert where the autobot base was.

"Oh come _on_ , how many other Autobots get to experience flying like this?"

"ABSOLUTELY NONE!"

"So now is a perfect chance to experience it! And I'll explain what I said before. Did you hear about Skywarp talking about my ‘kink’ when he burst into the room?" Thundercracker cringed. If he could pull some air quotes right now, he would.

"...Yeah?" Cliff had settled down by now.

"Well, I kinda, have a thing for minibots..."

Oh, so this guy had a _type_. That’s new for a seeker. Don't they usually just throw themselves at anyone?

Cliffjumper stared out the glass of his cockpit. "And I was your first choice?"

"Yes, because you also have another trait I like."

"What's that?"

"Not liking the other seekers, really." Thundercracker chuckled.

"You don't like your own frame type?"

"No, no, I don't like the trinemates I have to live with everyday."

Oh. "Ah... Hey, can I ask..."

"Yeah?"

"Does Skywarp actually smell like a gas station bathroom?"

"Oh, that, he _does_ , I throw him in the wash racks every night before he crashes on the berth."

"Dear Primus, how does he get like that?” Cliffjumper wrinkled his nose.

“Only the lord knows.” Thundercracker pulls a barrel roll, startling the mini inside and throwing him into a fit.

“NOW YOU LISTEN HERE!” He gripped onto one of the joysticks inside the cockpit, very much aware it was close to snapping. “I'M GOING TO RIP THESE STUPID SLAGGING BUTTONS OUT FROM YOUR CONTROL PANEL IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT!”

Unseen to Cliffjumper, inside his own mechanisms, Thundercracker was grinning. “Bet?”

“That and I'll puke everywhere. All over these pretty leather seats and shiny buttons.” He walked a circle, rubbing the tip of his finger along the tops of his seats.”

Thundercracker shook, and not for good reason this time. “For all that talk of you hating the rest of my trine, you're sure as hell starting to remind me of Starscream right now...” He took a turn, careful to be gentle now, worried about the mess he might have to clean later if he wasn't careful. “Speaking of which, I wonder where that slagger even is right now. You seen Skyfire being suspicious lately or is he too tall for you to know?”

"He basically lives in the science wing now, that and there's an escape exit in the backroom there, so he can leave for like 3 days and we wouldn't know unless Wheeljack says something."

"Wow, perfect for Screamer I guess."

TC slowed down as the Autobot ship, embedded into the mountain, came into view.

"Alright, I'm gonna drop you down near." Cliff grabbed the joystick again. "Not literally!"

Cliffjumper peeled his stiff hand off it. "...So how do you think this is gonna play out when you land? You've probably already set off our sensors."

"Probably?"

"Hey, I don't know the range on it, go ask Prowl."

"Yeah, I'll be _sure_ to ask once this is all over." Thundercracker replied, sarcasm clear in his words.

The jet landed and slowed to a stop before opening the cockpit, Cliff crawling out.

"Well, here's where today's journey might come to an end."

"What do you mean _might_?"

"Well, since you came into my base and got some intel, how ‘bout I do the same with yours?"

"Yeah, uh, all offense, you're really big. You ain’t really cut out for stealth."

"And neither are you, loudmouth. Now, do you wanna give me a kiss?"

Scoffing, Cliffjumper frowned. “Fine, but only because I know it'll shut you up long enough for all of this to sweep past.”

“Score!”

The mini stared at the jet.

“Any minute now bud,” Thundercracker dusted some of the sand off himself. “I can't wait forever you know.”

“You gonna kneel or something? Can’t exactly reach you from down here.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” Squatting down, Thundercracker patted his own cheek. “Like I said, any minute now.”

Cliffjumper groaned but let himself smile a bit as he pecked the jet on his _lips_ , lingering a minute before backing away, slapping him, transforming, and making a run for Autobot base.

Thundercracker stood up properly and watched as Cliff took off. Giddy smile on his face, he transformed back and raced towards Cliffjumper. 

"I'll see you at tomorrow's raid!" TC looped back around to go back to the Decepticon base, hopeful that he can impress the mini next time, and also without intervention from 4 other bots.

Cliff boosted himself into the southeast wing--the Autobot base’s science area. Ducking into the main room, Cliffjumper found Wheeljack.

"Oh, heya Cliff! How’s it goin’?"

“Fine, just came back from another intel run." He flashed his datapad at Wheeljack.

"So everything is all good? Whaddya find?"

"There's gonna be a raid tomorrow. About what and where, I don't know, had to run because Starscream almost found me." Lying to save my aft, or was it Thundercracker's? The trine's? From who, even? _No clue._ He was tired.

Cliffjumper looked at Wheeljack curiously. "Is Skyfire here?"

"Uh, yeah, he's in the backroom doing... Private stuff. Don't go in, the stuff he's working on is pretty sensitive." More like the _bot_ he’s working on. Pretty sure Wheeljack used the wrong word there, mech is probably in on it.

Cliffjumper raised a brow. “Uh huh… Alright, whatever.”

He walked into base, slapped his datapad into Jazz’s hands, and began trekking to his hab.

“You good man?” Jazz asked as he filed the datapad.

“As good as one can be after a day like this.” He finger guns at the other bot, slipping down the turn of the hall and walking past the backroom Wheeljack had mentioned earlier. With a grin, he paused, knocking on the door and listening to the frantic rustle and clang of Skyfire and Starscream’s panic. Satisfied, he continued and finally reached his hab. Laying down on his berth, he closed his optics and prepared to be lulled into recharge…

A knock on his door caused him to flinch.

“Hey, meeting in an hour.” Prowl. “Supposed raid going on today. Be there.”

Thundercracker’s stupid grin flashed through his mind, Cliff just covered his face with a pillow and screamed.

_Fuck._

  
  


_The end... For now._


End file.
